Pitfalls of dating a widower

You can feel this, yet are afraid it would cause more damage to their feelings about you if they knew.Your sense of intimacy with your lover can seem more intense when he becomes one of the few people you can really talk to.Talk about rebound………he started to email me and call several times per day and because I am not the “rebound” girl, I slowed things down and poof!If you are a single woman that has been seeing a married man for some time and reading this, chances are that you have already gone through the initial stages of infatuation and blinding bliss.Next, something I know (and have stated repeatedly) about men – of all ages: We do what we want. Which means that even if many widowers throw themselves into new relationships because of their tremendous loneliness, THIS one seems to be functioning more like your basic super-successful middle-aged man. You can give him an extra-wide berth because he’s newly single, but be forewarned: a man who is newly single (and is keeping a little distance) is probably going to want to get a greater sampling of what’s available instead of diving right back into commitment.If he were lonely and desperate to get married, I’d feel better about your chances, but he’s not.Give him another month to try harder and if he fails, walk away.

So when a woman survives her husband, she’s got a circle of friends from the neighborhood, from work, from her card game, from her book club, from her salsa classes. Regardless, he dictates the terms of the relationship based on HIS needs and schedule. To his credit, he’s taking things slow, to avoid diving into another serious relationship that he may end up regretting.My question is this – does this apply to widowers as well or is it fair to give him a little more time and just get busy with other things so I don’t put pressure on him?He says he has always taken it slow in dating and this is nothing new.Here is my version of her findings: Treasured, but used Being in love gives you the feeling that you are precious and treasured by him, but you cannot help but wonder…if it wasn’t for the sex, would he still want to be with me?If you didn’t make it so easy and perfect when he is with you, by not complaining and making sure you look absolutely gorgeous, by having the house spotless…if you were just your ordinary every day self, the way his wife is, would he still treasure you?

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